Just for Tweets

I love Twitter.  My followers are so diverse and unique.  I follow everyone from business men and women, underground music artists, chefs, stylists, and regular Joes and Janes.  They are a constant and endless source of entertainment and information.  Here are a few tweets that made me chuckle or think over the past week.

(This is a sports reference.  If you don't get it, it's ok.)

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To-Do List

1. Wear a shirt that says "Life".  Hand out lemons on the street corner.
2. Hire two private investigators.  Get them to follow each other.
3. Major in philosophy.  Ask people WHY they want fries with that.
4. Go into a crowded elevator and say, "I bet you're all wondering why I gathered you here," with a straight face.
5. Make vanilla pudding.  Put in mayo jar.  Eat in public.
6. Become a teacher.  Make a test where every answer is "C".  Enjoy the show.
7. Wait until someone is about to sneeze.  Right before they do, loudly scream, "PIKA PIKAAA!!!"
8. Run into a store, ask what year it is.  When someone answers, yell "It worked!" and run out cheering.
9. Buy a horse, name it "Oscar Takes the Lead", enter it into horse races.
10. Invite someone into your office, turn around in office chair and say, "I've been expecting you..."
11. Change your name to Simon.  Speak in third person.
12. Buy a parrot.  Teach the parrot to say, "Help I've been turned into a parrot."
13. Follow joggers around in a car blasting "Eye of the Tiger" for encouragement.

Which ones are you adding to your list?

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I Judge Poor Grammar

Poor grammar is a pet peeve of mine.  Status updates on Facebook make me cringe.  I won't even get started on the emails I receive from "professionals" at work.  I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar feels my pain and lets me know there is someone on my side.  Say "NO" to poor grammar, bloggers!!  Happy Friday!! Here are a few pages from the book:

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